Masculine Politique
September 5th 2008 08:41
In Australia sport is political short-hand for masculine and male politicians have developed a parasitical devotion to it. The countless examples of contrived attempts to appeal to Joe Bloggs are evidence of a crisis in the Australian political male; the Wallaby carcasses along John Howard’s road to success are the ultimate proof of pathology. This crisis is directly linked to the absence of legitimate Australian politico-role-models and represents the second biggest threat to the Australian way of life.
Australian political history is thoroughly modern so only a few politico-role-models exist; the more popular role-models Hawke, Menzies, Whitlam all endured politicus interruptus getting cut-off in their prime. More advanced political histories provide more models; America has access to Dick Cheney’s hunters’ bloodlust and heart of the aging warrior; the Ruskies have Putin, formerly of the KGB which nearly says it all; interestingly it was claimed in FHM that Putin can bench 210. For their respective populations it is a relief that both of these MEN have battled nature, gone one on one with her and killed stuff. Australia’s future success depends on the inspiration of political minds, both literally and metaphorically nothing can be left to chance. The first step will be to augment the masculine politique with cultural and business models; we need to “Irwin-ise” politics.
Steve would sidle up behind Mother Nature and…GA-TOOSH! Climate change is over. He was the personification of a uniquely Australian bravado where men take on and create risks, sheep-farming is a good example, but this bravado has disappeared from politics. “Aussie Blokes” know that sometimes you have to do something foolish to maintain your way of life, if it were not for cane toads the cane beetles would be in control of North Queensland. So as the world changes ever quickly the burden on politicians to lead is heavy but disturbingly the words out of parliament have remained consistent and passive: “[We] expressly deny that Mother Nature is something to be concerned about. [We’ve] asked [our] parliamentary colleagues to consider preparing a report into it and until [we] receive that, potential, report it is inappropriate to comment further. Shame on you for asking. [Yeah!]”
While the war on nature is man’s oldest battle, recently proven to pre-date Man v Terrorist, two modern problems threaten to tip the balance; firstly, can we trust female politicians not to support Mother Nature? Secondly and worsely, the disturbing absence of Male politico-role-models means our politicians have no guidance for, potentially, our final battle with the Old Enemy.
Australian political history is thoroughly modern so only a few politico-role-models exist; the more popular role-models Hawke, Menzies, Whitlam all endured politicus interruptus getting cut-off in their prime. More advanced political histories provide more models; America has access to Dick Cheney’s hunters’ bloodlust and heart of the aging warrior; the Ruskies have Putin, formerly of the KGB which nearly says it all; interestingly it was claimed in FHM that Putin can bench 210. For their respective populations it is a relief that both of these MEN have battled nature, gone one on one with her and killed stuff. Australia’s future success depends on the inspiration of political minds, both literally and metaphorically nothing can be left to chance. The first step will be to augment the masculine politique with cultural and business models; we need to “Irwin-ise” politics.
Steve would sidle up behind Mother Nature and…GA-TOOSH! Climate change is over. He was the personification of a uniquely Australian bravado where men take on and create risks, sheep-farming is a good example, but this bravado has disappeared from politics. “Aussie Blokes” know that sometimes you have to do something foolish to maintain your way of life, if it were not for cane toads the cane beetles would be in control of North Queensland. So as the world changes ever quickly the burden on politicians to lead is heavy but disturbingly the words out of parliament have remained consistent and passive: “[We] expressly deny that Mother Nature is something to be concerned about. [We’ve] asked [our] parliamentary colleagues to consider preparing a report into it and until [we] receive that, potential, report it is inappropriate to comment further. Shame on you for asking. [Yeah!]”
While the war on nature is man’s oldest battle, recently proven to pre-date Man v Terrorist, two modern problems threaten to tip the balance; firstly, can we trust female politicians not to support Mother Nature? Secondly and worsely, the disturbing absence of Male politico-role-models means our politicians have no guidance for, potentially, our final battle with the Old Enemy.
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