Jim SpearsGategate: The Story of D-Unit and Bel
July 7th 2008 20:46
Waiting for celebrity pundits to attach themselves to presidential candidates can create angst. Over the last month this anxiety has been eased by the emergence of John Della Bosca, D-Unit, and Belinda Neal, Bel, the new celebrity power couple of Australia and for Australia. Genuine power couples are rare in Australia; women’s power is historically located in home and hearth rather than parliament and party. So it was inevitable that someone would whisper “…like the Clintons”. It makes sense D-Unit and Bel are politicians, married and both look like they enjoy a cigar buuuuuuuut is that enough basis for comparison?
D-Unit and Bel have a string of misdemeanours but this is their first scandal deemed worthy of the “-Gate” suffix. Adding “-gate” is serious business referring back to the Watergate scandal of the 70s. Watergate was a seedy conspiracy involving political espionage, breaking and entering, corruption, illegal wiretaps. If a political scandal is significantly damaging then “-gate” is added; it must be professionally fit by hack, Iguana-gate, Granny-gate and Painter-gate are notable examples. The Clintons are involved in five separate “-gate” scandals setting a high standard for power couples everywhere. The original Watergate was a conspiracy to maintain power; Iguana-gate was a conspiracy over seating and, therefore, lacks the prestige of a true “-Gate” scandal.
“Fear and Loathing in Iguanas” is too long for a headline but it has rhythm.The tales that have emerged include face spitting, finger-pointing and celebrity power gone mad. The famous Diva’s refrain “Don’t you know who I am?” allegedly may have been stated by Bel. The last time this quote appeared was when Elton John wanted to walk in a restricted area. How many times has this statement been uttered by B-Listers desperate for recognition or special consideration? In NSW political life the celebrity rule of thumb applies, no-one thinks much of you so it doesn’t matter what you do wrong. But one has to ask would a Clinton resort to such tactics?
Finally standards were raised, rather discussed, when Julia Gillard reminded us that“…members of Parliament…have got to acquit themselves against the standards that people expect from members of Parliament.” The problem is in determining those expectations. D-Unit wants to be judged by everyday standards urging people “…to take a think for a second…Have they ever done anything wrong themselves in terms of swearing, or giving someone cheek or something else?” It is a fair point and luckily people receive corporate training emphasising their responsibility to the corporate image. Politicians don’t get this training would you punish an underprivileged child for not being able to read? Take a think on it.
In a pure-democracy a community elects their best member as their representative; occasionally a party might impose an external candidate from above but generally the politician comes “from” the community and reflects their values, tastes and beliefs. So if you put 1000 dead shits in a room and ask them to elect a leader you’ll still have to deal with a dead shit. Tabloid reporters have been eagerly searching for warts and found that when D-Unit and Bel had “domestics” it became neighbourhood entertainment; “One night neighbours actually brought chairs up there to sit on and we were just all watching for ages” said a man with a dog named Tyson…maybe Kostya.
Democracy has gone too far and we need to start means testing parliamentary representation. With the proliferation of black markets using income as the basis is unfair but it must be something that fluctuates. I give you….literacy rates. If it is too low then a community loses representation and perhaps they can become indentured servants to communities with the best rates. Historically this has been the best way to instil the spirit of democracy in people. Oppression is the foundation of the new democracy.
D-Unit and Bel have a string of misdemeanours but this is their first scandal deemed worthy of the “-Gate” suffix. Adding “-gate” is serious business referring back to the Watergate scandal of the 70s. Watergate was a seedy conspiracy involving political espionage, breaking and entering, corruption, illegal wiretaps. If a political scandal is significantly damaging then “-gate” is added; it must be professionally fit by hack, Iguana-gate, Granny-gate and Painter-gate are notable examples. The Clintons are involved in five separate “-gate” scandals setting a high standard for power couples everywhere. The original Watergate was a conspiracy to maintain power; Iguana-gate was a conspiracy over seating and, therefore, lacks the prestige of a true “-Gate” scandal.
This is a swinging gate.
“Fear and Loathing in Iguanas” is too long for a headline but it has rhythm.The tales that have emerged include face spitting, finger-pointing and celebrity power gone mad. The famous Diva’s refrain “Don’t you know who I am?” allegedly may have been stated by Bel. The last time this quote appeared was when Elton John wanted to walk in a restricted area. How many times has this statement been uttered by B-Listers desperate for recognition or special consideration? In NSW political life the celebrity rule of thumb applies, no-one thinks much of you so it doesn’t matter what you do wrong. But one has to ask would a Clinton resort to such tactics?
Finally standards were raised, rather discussed, when Julia Gillard reminded us that“…members of Parliament…have got to acquit themselves against the standards that people expect from members of Parliament.” The problem is in determining those expectations. D-Unit wants to be judged by everyday standards urging people “…to take a think for a second…Have they ever done anything wrong themselves in terms of swearing, or giving someone cheek or something else?” It is a fair point and luckily people receive corporate training emphasising their responsibility to the corporate image. Politicians don’t get this training would you punish an underprivileged child for not being able to read? Take a think on it.
In a pure-democracy a community elects their best member as their representative; occasionally a party might impose an external candidate from above but generally the politician comes “from” the community and reflects their values, tastes and beliefs. So if you put 1000 dead shits in a room and ask them to elect a leader you’ll still have to deal with a dead shit. Tabloid reporters have been eagerly searching for warts and found that when D-Unit and Bel had “domestics” it became neighbourhood entertainment; “One night neighbours actually brought chairs up there to sit on and we were just all watching for ages” said a man with a dog named Tyson…maybe Kostya.
NSW Electoral and Political Map
Democracy has gone too far and we need to start means testing parliamentary representation. With the proliferation of black markets using income as the basis is unfair but it must be something that fluctuates. I give you….literacy rates. If it is too low then a community loses representation and perhaps they can become indentured servants to communities with the best rates. Historically this has been the best way to instil the spirit of democracy in people. Oppression is the foundation of the new democracy.
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Comment by Janet Collins
The Social Critic
Janet Collins Blog
Janet
Comment by Jim Spears
Political Pundit
Sport Sensibility
Thanks,
Jim